Meet the Locals – For Introverts, too

Some people are very comfortable talking about themselves or about their interests.

My father was one of those people: he was a salesman. He thrived on selling. I don't know if he was ever good at it because we never had much money, but he obviously enjoyed it and always did it professionally. Besides selling for work, he spent his off-hours trying his own businesses, always approaching customers one-by-one. One of his projects was car waxing: he ended up working on high-end cars, so he had to reach out to people in well-to-do areas; I believe he went door-to-door to get those customers, soliciting people on their doorstep.

I am not one of those people. I always hated soliciting others. One time my dad helped me get a little money by passing out fliers for a neighborhood video store by putting them on cars, and even that made me uncomfortable. (I only did it once.) Heck, I even had a girlfriend once tell me that I could talk during parties... she said that I could talk about anything. I remember wondering what I could actually say, but I didn't bother discussing it any further. I'm fine just hanging out and listening. Silence is my jam.

I always respected my dad and wanted to be like him (except for selling). Since then I've met other marvelous people who can carry a conversation... people who talk about interesting things... people who draw you in, going back-and-forth on topics that are cool for both of you.

You've probably heard of this book:

Dale Carnegie wasn't initially successful in the school debate club because kids made fun of his poverty. However, he ended up with genuine values of kindness, as you can tell by the principles in section 2 entitled "Ways To Make People Like You":

• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Smile.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

Employing Time Safari

Now I have a tool that helps me talk with anyone: Time Safari. I simply get to say that I'm interested in what they enjoy, and maybe I can help with their hobbies. What's more, this connection can lead to even grander results by sharing more and more widely.

1) Offers, to Projects or to People

It's fun to record their hobbies or projects or wild ideas. Time Safari is meant to be for half-baked ideas, so that people can easily introduce them, then get feedback and maybe find allies.

• I sometimes enter their full idea (with them as the co-owner). That way, they can see and share with others but also edit it and add info. Then I'll make an offer to it – and they get to see a big green button on the front page for it.
• If they're not ready to log a full project or even an idea, I typically record an offer to help them directly with some interest of theirs (on the contacts screen)... anything they mentioned that I like. Again: they get to see a big green button for that.
• In one of my introductions, someone did not want to try out the app, but they made an offer directly to me and my friends. So I wrote it in and I can know who to call if the group wants it. That's a nice thing to be able to show off. Sometimes people surprise you with their generosity!

2) Direct Gratitude

For people closer to me, the gratitude is something worth sharing. I've logged things I've seen from other, with pictures; sometimes I show it to them later. If they're not on the app, you only see that activity in your history. If they're on the app, you can each see those items in two ways:

• On the Contacts screen, click "See Hours, Offer, etc", and then click the file icon to the far right of their name. That shows the items directly to and from one another.
• On the Profile screen, the "Your Activity" link shows anything that involves the user, so that's fun for them to see. (If you want to see what their info looks like from your perspective, go to the Contacts screen and click the info icon next to their name.)

3) Profiles

Anyone can now find people around them with similar interests. This is a place that captures one's imagination about how this might connect people.

On the Profile screen, there's a place to type in your interests. This is a natural invitation: there may be no project they are ready to list, but they do have interests, so they could post that info for future searchers. The great thing is that you can reiterate that this data is private: nobody except those they allow will know who is attached to that description & location. (Note: for security purposes, we recommend choosing a location that's not exactly at one's home, but rather somewhere in the general neighborhood.)

There you have it: a handful of ways to approach neighbors and strike up a conversation, no matter how introverted you feel. After all, you're doing something for them... and who doesn't want more help with their own interests?

Further Activities

• In Time Safari:
  • A group of people can now get on at the same time, which allows you to register them all at once and also allows them all to get each other as contacts in one sitting. Look for the green "chair" button on the Contacts page. (Note that we recommend an easy sentence as a password, such as "Our elephant jumps.")
  • Profiles (#3 explained above) are new. They can be seen on a map in the "People" "Mapped" section on the Search page.
• Walk your neighborhood. It may take multiple walks to actually meet someone any more! But when you do, it's THE BEST place to get to know people because it's so easy to find something complimentary about their house or their car or their pet. Other topics follow easily.
• Invite yourself over. That sounds like a strange imposition, but if you start by learning about their interests then you often want to learn more, and that leads to a request to chat some more at a time of their convenience. Obviously you don't just invite yourself in: ask whether there's a good time to chat more. Maybe it's by video, or someplace else like where they do some hobby. I can testify that it's easier than it sounds, after you've established a common interest.